Holy Crap Pirates
by Flames are for marshmellows
Summary: A prank gone wrong, and now the Mugiwara Pirates are stuck with the most eccentric people to ever walk Japan, which raises the question, "What the crap is 'Japan'" Rated T for paranoia
1. The Beginning of Bizarre

As everyone knows, the twins getting bored mean DANGER with all caps. So they had two options: 1. Annoy Tamaki or 2. Annoy Haruhi, thus annoying Tamaki. But they had annoyed Haruhi yesterday, making it clear it was her time of the month, so they picked #1. They brainstormed ideas, using their awesome twin telepathic powers, and came up with and idea in 0.32 seconds (a new record). But they would have to wait the next day to put it in action, plus there was a club meeting today for the new cosplay idea for tomorrow, and that was essential to there unspoken plan. "Okay today's meeting is called to discuss what our next cosplay theme will be."

"But don't you and Kyo-chan usually decide that?" the Lolita type questioned.

"Well, yes but, uh, um, I RAN OUT OF IDEAS!" said Tamaki, his usual dramatic self.

This was going perfectly. "Pirates, duh," said the twin simultaneously.

**Welcome to the Twins Inner Mind Theater**

**(TIMT for short)**

**Haruhi is walking along the shore with Hikaru/Kaoru, who is wearing a tattered shirt and shorts, sandals, and a bandana and eye patch to finish the look. Her grass skirt swayed in the wind. "Please don't go back to sea," she says, a blush on her face and tears streaming. Hikaru/Kaoru tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, which was adorned with a Hawaiian flower "Don't go…" Hikaru/Kaoru pulls her in an embrace. "I will never leave you." "Hikaru/Kaoru…"**

**Thank you and this has been the TIMT**

Tamaki thinks for a second. "Yes, that would go VERY WELL…"

**Welcome to Tamaki's Inner Mind Theater**

**(TIMT for short… umm just a minute)**

**Welcome to Tamaki ****Souh's**** Inner Mind Theater**

**(THERE! That'll work… TSIMT for short)**

**Haruhi is walking along the shore with Tamaki, who is wearing a tattered shirt and shorts, sandals, and a bandana and eye patch to finish the look. Her grass skirt swayed in the wind. "Please don't go back to sea," she says, a blush on her face and tears streaming. Tamaki tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, which was adorned with a Hawaiian flower "Don't go…" Tamaki pulls her in an embrace. "I will never leave you." "Tamaki…"**

**Thank you and this has been TSIMT**

"Sempai, can you please stop thinking stupid things about me."

"Ah! Haruhi," Tamaki says happily, whipping out a grass skirt and one of those coconut bras. "Wear this okay!"

"No," said girl says without any emotion whatsoever, successfully sending said boy to his emo corner. **(A.N. my computer doesn't have the word emo in it, just thought you'd like to know)**

"Hikaru and Kaoru please work on the cosplay tonight and bring it tomorrow." Said the infamous King of Darkness, shifting his glasses and looking at his clipboard, calculating how much he would be able to get from selling pictures of the new cosplay. .

As soon as club activities were over, the twin casually acted like they were going home, but turned the corner to the Black Magic club. Nekozawa was there, of course, but he was the only one there, cleaning up. "Oh Beelzenef, it seems we have company," everyone's favorite occult psycho murmured to his puppet.

"Can you help us with something?"

**THE FOLLOWING DAY**

"HELP! HIKARU HAS BEEN HYPNOTIZED BY NEKOZAWA" yelled Kaoru as he rushed into the Music Room 3. The anticipated response came immediately. Well from Tamaki anyway, because although they were not in on the scheme, they knew that Nekozawa doesn't hypnotize people. He liked black magic, and hypnotism didn't fall into that category. But they came anyway. Haruhi followed because she was curious, Kyoya "maybe this will benefit me in a way, ah yes, blackmail", and Hunny and Mori because they always went with the group. When they got to the club room they noticed no other club members were there and there was a cauldron with blue swirling liquid inside of it, looking suspiciously like a portal from some bad fan fiction, and Hikaru was staring into it entranced. "Hikaru, HIKARU!!!" Tamaki shook Hikaru's shoulders, but had no effect. Kaoru stopped. "Hikaru, this wasn't part of the plan… NEKOZAWA WHAT DID YOU DO!"

"W-w-what?? I only did as you said, 'make a portal to the pirate world.'"

"NO WE SAID MAKE SOMETHING THAT _**LOOKS **_LIKE A PORTAL –"

Kaoru stopped in horror as Hikaru pushed Tamaki inside the portal, who reflexively grabbed Hikaru's wrist. "SEMPAI!" Haruhi yelled (i can imagine her screaming) grabbing his other hand. Kaoru seized Hikaru's leg, Kyoya grabbed Haruhi's hand ("maybe I can make her owe me more for saving her…"), Mori, with Hunny on his back, grasped Kaoru's arm, and Hunny reached out, gripping Nekozawa's cape, and they were sucked into the portal.

First it was all blue and swirly, and then blue and wet, as Haruhi hit the top of the ocean, gasping for breath, soon follow by the other members and Nekozawa **(A.N. from now on when I talk about the Host Club, it includes Nekozawa (who is hot enough to be a host but that's beside the point…)) **"H-H-HELP" Haruhi screamed at the top of her lungs, spotting a large ship, only to see a jolly roger. _Oh crap, that ship has a Jolly Roger, meaning it's a pirate ship. But why does the Jolly Roger have a straw hat. Damn you Nekozawa_...

**Ah sorry its short, but I'll try to update soon (keyword, ****try****). This is my first FanFic so please be nice, but critique is welcome. Flames are for marshmallow, so for every flame I get, I will eat a marshmallow. SO GO AHEAD AND FLAME ME I LOVE MARSHMELLOWS MWHAHAHAHAHA….**

**-Flames are for Marshmellows**

**P.s. i don't own crap okay**


	2. THIS IS NOT A CHAPTER! AUTHOR'S NOTE!

Hey guys, I'm not (quite) dead...

Okay, before you make me _fully_ dead, I want to sincerely apologize. I should've put out a note like this AGES ago, but it kept slipping my mind. Sorry this isn't a chapter update.

Another thing you wonderful people should know: I fully intend to complete this story, but I have NO idea where it will be going, or how long it will take. Any ideas will be very much appreciated. But please don't review this, as it will be taken down once I update. Just send me a PM if you have an idea. And don't be shy

Also, I am rewriting most of the first chapter, because it is horrid. I cried rereading it.

Again, I apologize for taking two years to put this out, but if I don't repost the first chapter and update by New Years, get on my back about it. I'm trying not to be such a lazy bastard this time around. Also, my head is cluttered with ideas, so I might need a bit of help to be kept on track.

I love you guys so much *gets tears in eyes*. And thank you so much for sticking with me. I'LL BE BACK SOON, I SWEAR!

With a creepy amount of love,

F.A.F.M.~


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